A Short Sex Talk at the Bar

(Edward and Jim are best friends and when they met after a long time, they had an inexplicable urge to wet their throats and talk about their (ahem) sexual problem. A few beers down, they loosened up and started talking about self pleasure)

Edward and made their way to the nearest pub, ordered two pints of Carlsberg and after discussing work woes got to an interesting (locker room) topic – self pleasure.

Edward: I am feeling a little hard done these days - work pressure, economic slump and add to that the fact that Jenna chose this time to go to “Gay Parie” for a month. Now I have to “take care” of myself; if you know what I mean?”

Jim: (Laughing) Of course I do mate! I and my trusty ol’ hand have been at it for ages!

Edward: (Arching his eyebrows) I take it Marianne is out of town?

Jim: No! She is pregnant; we’ve been off sex for months (sighing). But she is ok with me self pleasuring myself! In fact she likes watching me wank off!

Edward: Hmm, but doesn’t it get boring after a while! I mean, I have used both, my hands and the pillow, but didn’t really enjoy it that much after a while!

Jim: Know what you mean! That’s why I have gone for one of those male toys that stimulate the prostate and also bought myself a Fleshlight! Dude, the experience is simply amazing.

Edward: Had heard about those! Didn’t think they were all that they were cracked up to be! And mate! I just can’t think of putting anything right up my arse!

Jim: (guffawing loudly) Oops sorry! Have you heard of something called a lube! Just lube your anus and the male sex toy and put it in. Believe you me; it’s going to be smooth, sexy and fun (with a mock sigh of pleasure)!

Edward: Used a lube but only for my finger and penis. How’s that Fleshlight thingy!

Jim: “Pure bliss buddy, pure bliss” As far as male sex toys go, it’s the best! It’s got this realistic inner sleeve that feels like a woman’s vagina. When you insert your “little brother” into it, just close your eyes. You will be forgiven for thinking it’s a real vagina (winking). And mate! You are going to have the time of your life with the Fleshlight.

Jim: By the way, you don’t use vibrators for men; your experience of self pleasure must be really boring.

Edward: Not really! I use some great techniques that are very similar to the real thing. When I jack off, I not only lubricate my penis but my scrotum as well. I grasp my penis in such a way that my index finger points downwards towards the scrotum. I stroke deep and good, getting my scrotum into play as well. Do it and you will forget everything else!

Jim: (Smiling) Need to try that one! You seem quite the expert on techniques, did you think this out for yourself.

Edward: Experimentation is the name of the game! It’s all about feeling the pleasure!

The talk then veered away toward some other topics of the professional variety, something that might just bore you to bits.